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THE NAME GAME: TEEN MOTHERS EDITION


Celebrities aren’t the only ones creating horrible futures for their children; check out this list full of misspelled and just plain weird names suggested to a pregnant teen mom. I’m sure if you name your child “Tahnarrli” they’ll be very happy with you later in life.

42 Comments to THE NAME GAME: TEEN MOTHERS EDITION

  1. Oh god, now my head hurts.

  2. Emma Holton on April 12th, 2012
  3. oh you silly black people and your stupid ass names!

  4. brandi b on April 12th, 2012
  5. what i am more concerned about is the fact that there is a proud teen mom webpage on facebook. and the fact that the teen mom in question has two kids already and is pregnant with the third. where are her parents.

  6. number 12 on April 12th, 2012
  7. Did she just say she has two kids already? Also didn’t she just says she was 18? What age did this girl start having kids?

  8. silverkitten on April 12th, 2012
  9. silverkitten – it says she’s 18 weeks pregnant, not 18 years old. I misread that the first time too… and it’s not clear whether the names she mentioned were for existing children, or just names she’s come up with. But it is posted on a teen mom page, so let’s hope this isn’t her third kid.

  10. Accio on April 12th, 2012
  11. Brandi … white people are getting pretty good at stupid names too. I have a relative named Jazzalynnde

  12. netjnke on April 12th, 2012
  13. This is her second child. It’s bad enough that she had kids while she was still in her teens, but she has the unmitigated gall to name the little crotch-droppings awful names so they’ll get teased later in life. Pitiful.

  14. Hibiscus on April 12th, 2012
  15. Maybe if she used punctuation we would be able to discern how many kids she already has. And, yes, white people name their children some pretty stupid shit.

  16. drkenny on April 12th, 2012
  17. @drkenny
    white may use some dumb names but nothing compares to the old black favorites Lemmonjello (la-mon-ja-lo) or Clinic (clin-eek)my personal favorite orilla

  18. Ed on April 13th, 2012
  19. How about an unforgetable name ?

    “Stool Softener”

  20. Joey BadaBing on April 13th, 2012
  21. Name it “Abortion.” Or “Accident.” Or “Welfare Check.”

  22. Anna on April 13th, 2012
  23. hey the last girl my brother in law knocked up named her spawn Topanga Lulu

    And my dad works with special kids and the names some of them have are off the charts, shawnee, derziah, and one special boy whose parents legally let him change his name to “elmo” and when that is the most normal sounding name in the bunch it makes you want to weep for the future. but thats what this site does on a daily basis so its not too shocking. still with names like this i feel so so sorry for the substitute teachers of the world, they get that sheet of kids’ names and the poor things wont be able to pronounce half of the names and won’t know if they are being pranked by the kids or not.

  24. pookie_bear_meow_damnit on April 13th, 2012
  25. All those names sound good in the sentence “And now, on the Main Stage at Hairy Beavers strip club, it’s….”

  26. Suzy on April 13th, 2012
  27. i once knew a girl who named her eldest daughter Hateya (Hi-tay-a) because she had split with her ex and want him to know how she felt about hime

  28. annyonomous on April 13th, 2012
  29. These are no worse than the hippy names from the 60s. Well except for the ones that sound like medical conditions like Ariah or Arethria, rashes anyone?

    For the record my son is Caleb and any future offspring will have similarly normal names.

  30. katie on April 13th, 2012
  31. The typical ‘white people do it too’ Bull crap….

    oh yeah lets not forget Le-a, pronounce it Lea? nope. pronounce it like Lay? nope. pronounce it like Lee Aye? nope. negro mammy say de dash don’t beez silent. yep that’s right the little picininnies name is Ledasha. Oh lawds!

  32. suze on April 13th, 2012
  33. Some weird names I’ve heard over the years;
    Shandrika, Chandricka
    Lee_Asya
    Vanilla
    Marticus
    Jazza_Lynn
    Aubriella

  34. Kayla on April 14th, 2012
  35. Terrible baby names span race, country, and socioeconomic standing.

    I knew a couple of yuppies who named their kids Jessicaugh and Dandridge. Yes, I think “Head and Shoulders” every time they call his name, too. At least they could call them “Dan” and “Jessi” for short…

    I also worked with a married Juggalette who named their daughter “Wykyd Prayer”.
    When they wanted to get her attention, they’d yell, “KYD. HEY KYD.”

    My father also has two high school buddies, one named Guy, the other named Boy. Yep, legally. This, sadly, is not a new phenomenon.

  36. Faye on April 14th, 2012
  37. Stop it black people, just stop. Your names aren’t clever or cool. They make your kid sound like a spice or chemical.

  38. sodeypop on April 14th, 2012
  39. I have a name for them.

    jkcfnhkjkbhy

    Its really easy.

    for more unique names, just face to keyboard. tadaa.

  40. Jessica on April 14th, 2012
  41. Yes, white people also name their kids crazy shit. It’s always white people that name their kids Sailor, and Banjo, and Jagger, and Scout.

    This list of names is so ridiculous. My personal favorite suggestion is Martini…classy.

  42. Fox Moulder on April 14th, 2012
  43. I have a unique first name and it’s great to an extent. I work in the medical field and the worst names I have seen were Tangerine, Izaak, and Ocean. But the worst by far (I really wanted to slap this mom) was Phelony pronounced felony. This was a baby girl.

  44. Khris on April 15th, 2012
  45. I submitted this lol .. And for the record, all the women commenting on this are white. Just regular white women from America, Australia and England.

    Both of my children have normal names, and funnily enough are both in the top 5 most popular for the year they were born lol

  46. Sarah on April 15th, 2012
  47. So, what age is she and how many kids does she have (minus the one growing in her belly)?

  48. Lobster Pot Girl on April 16th, 2012
  49. @ Sarah.. popular does not equal intelligent or classy. If all of these girls are white, they are just as trashy as if they were any other race and suggesting these names. Oh btw, if you are a ‘teen mom’ with 3 kids, you are also a slut.

  50. Lissa on April 16th, 2012
  51. There was a girl in my granddaughter’s 7th grade class that was having her third kid. Go ahead – pass out those condoms and see where it gets you!

  52. Good Old Granny on April 16th, 2012
  53. @pookie_bear….Shawnee is the name of a Native Am tribe, not weird lol. Idiot.

  54. freckleMama on April 17th, 2012
  55. I used to collect names when I paid medical claims. Some prize names were Feisty (must’ve been a difficult birth); Turquoise Hills; Mahoganny Poinsettia; and the best one was an elderly couple – His name was Admiral and her name was Marina. Aww!

  56. nin462 on April 17th, 2012
  57. I used to work at a daycare. Here’s some the names I heard:
    Xzyqueil
    Xzyaniel
    Davyn
    Flower

  58. pitbullmom on April 18th, 2012
  59. @Lissa, I couldn’t care less what race people are, I was just replying to all the comments above saying that the names were from black people.

    I’m not a teen mum and I don’t have 3 kids. Also, just because someone is a teen with kids doesn’t make them a slut. Irresponsible? Yes. Slut? No.

  60. Sarah on April 19th, 2012
  61. I work at a hospital and I saw one patient named: Abcde , pronounced ab-suh-day.

  62. Eve on April 19th, 2012
  63. As a worker in the medical field, one of the weirdest names I’ve come across has to be Espn. Pronounce it like the channel ESPN? NOPE.. Ess-pen and Heaven forbid if you pronounced it wrong.. Mama went off the deep end! Another co-worker has also encountered a Le-a (Ledasha) and a L’Orangejelo (La-ron-je-lo); as well as a Skyehawk.

  64. Lilo on April 20th, 2012
  65. As a teenaged girl, I am sickened by my generation. Not only are they unabashed sluts who make fun of people like me (Who have not yet had sex for one reason or another) but they don’t even bother to spell the terrible names correctly. BTW anyone who names their kid Nevaeh without Knowing that it is a Native American name which means ‘butterfly” (IT IS NOT HEAVEN SPELLED BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!) is a tool.

  66. Sarah on April 21st, 2012
  67. Obvious the girl is very young and not very smart. She must be very happy to give up the rest of her teenage years by raising several children. Asking for name suggestions is fine–don’t name your child with a wierd spelling or name. The kid most likely will get picked on–very good for your confidence.

  68. angela on April 22nd, 2012
  69. For instance, Guy is a pretty common name for guys in their 50’s here in France.

  70. junette on April 23rd, 2012
  71. Amazing. Gotta love people coming up with stupid names for their kids- Trayvon, Apple, Ja’mai.

  72. Jack on April 25th, 2012
  73. God forbid I ever become a teen mom, I’m gonna be classy about it. If I have a son I’ll name him either Adam Michael or Olyver James, and if it’s a girl she’ll be Lily Adeline or Amy Christina.

  74. Mitch Lucker Is God on May 7th, 2012
  75. A woman I know taught school in Kileen, Tx, a few years ago. She had a girl student named Female – pronounced Fa-Mall-ee. I’ve also heard of Felony for a girl. A friend’s daughter (at 15) named her first child Tempest Leather Dahlia. Her third child is named Royal.

  76. Amazed and Disgusted on May 17th, 2012
  77. So what if people like different names, trust me as a girl who always had at least 4 other girls by my name in any givin class I would have killed for the teacher to have not known how to say my name which is why I have a son Soren Azrael Ezekiel and a daugher Nikita Rayne….

  78. Amber on May 17th, 2012
  79. Some favorites from working with inner-city campers:

    Heaven
    Latoya
    Diamond
    Da’Quaisia
    LynnAysia
    Niyanna (nie-yanna)
    Miyonni (mee-ah-nee)
    Starr
    K’Nisha (kuh-nee-shuh)

  80. Margie on May 23rd, 2012
  81. As a prison guard, I have encountered many stupid names. Some include “Pretty Boy” (and yes, that was his given name), Aquanette, Queenetta, Sir, Famous, and I also know a woman named “Female.”. C’mon folks, these people had no choice but to become convicts!

  82. EM on July 8th, 2012
  83. Okay, I have refrained from wasting my time and energy on every post I’ve bothered to read comments on, but I cannot just sit by and allow ignorance to run rampant! Seriously people? Black people and stupid names!? I’ll have you know I’m black and I have 2 children Jadyn (a Hebrew origin, spelling changed like many have done) and Danika (named after a white female Nascar driver). Don’t blame the stupidity of certain individuals on their entire race. And just to make a point, Bartholomew, Thaddeus, Arnold, Jameson, and the list goes on! As far as I know, these ridiculous names are “white people” names, and yet I’m not going to judge the entire race based off of individuals making “mistakes” on a personal level. The ignorance you’re spreading is more damning for our nation than any teen pregnancy or bad name will ever be. Ignorance breeds hate. You could at least pretend you’re making some attempt to evolve!

  84. Felicia on February 27th, 2013

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